2016 was a significant year for me; I turned 42 and towards the end of the year, my mum died. Warning – here is a spoiler alert; according to Douglas Adams, the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is 42, and as I turned 42 I thought that I should have the answer, and understand the answer. The events that followed, helped me to find the answer. I don’t claim that my answer will work for everyone, but it works for me, and may even help others as well.
What is this wisdom? Use it up! I have spent time saving things for best – clothes, shoes, jewellery, fabric, threads, toiletries. Last year, I realised I was doing it all wrong. I was reminded of a story I had read where a lady had saved some special underwear for best. Unfortunately, the only time she got to wear it was on the day of her funeral; she had never had that ‘special day’ when she considered herself worthy of the underwear (the link takes you to the story, I read it many years ago, and can’t find where I first saw it). On a more personal note, my mum was diagnosed with PSP in 2015 (having first been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease); for a couple of years before the diagnosis she had found that she was able to do less and less. I ended up being given most of her fabric stash, and a lot of her yarn; at the time she also gave me some quilts to finish for her. Since then, I’ve also gained many of her books and notions / paraphernalia. Some of these quilts will feature in a future blog post.
Last year, a lady in our quilting group was charged with clearing the crafting items of a former group member. The former member had died, and her son was left to clear the house, and my friend helped. For several weeks she brought in bags and boxes of yarns, fabric and magazines – we were like children in a sweet shop (or perhaps more accurately, like quilters at a fabric sale!), we were given free range of goodies. There were rolls of freezer paper, fat quarters with little sections cut out, unfinished quilts, finished and unfinished blocks, and yards and yards of lengths of fabric. There was so much that our group was able to make at least 100 breast cancer cushions and several quilts for Project Linus. There is still more fabric left – some suitable for making quilt tops, some more suited to backing quilts. Yet more had to be dumped, as it had been put in a shed in boxes and suitcases, and had succumbed to the elements.
I find this situation quite sad; it is lovely that our group has been able to use the fabric for good causes, but it is so sad that the former member didn’t have the enjoyment of using all the fabric or seeing her started projects come to fruition. This leads on well to my next rule for living: finish it! I have so many toiletries that I haven’t wanted to use up all at once, and the same goes for my fabric and threads. However, I’m now enjoying using them all – and it gives me great pleasure to finish something. I love seeing an empty spool of thread, or using some of my favourite fabric in a block. Don’t for a moment think that I’m so organised and with it that I don’t have any UFOs (or PHDs as I prefer to call them). I have a number of quilt tops waiting to be basted and quilted, but last year I did manage to quilt some tops to give to Project Linus.
Carpe diem – seize the day. Don’t wait for the perfect time, perfect pattern or perfect day – it doesn’t exist. Work with what you have; it is rather liberating to use favourite fabric in a block or a quilt. If there is something you want to do – get on and do it. It really does not matter if your quilting stitches are too big, too uneven, or your seams don’t match, or you’ve lost your points. As my mum used to say ‘A blind man would be glad to see it’ – and that is a phrase we often use at our quilting group.
This method for living isn’t mind-blowing, but it can be life changing. I find myself happier – I take pleasure and enjoyment in the simple things – a lovely sunset, a finished quilt, time for sewing, finishing a reel of thread. I try to find something to be thankful for every day – and I succeed. There is just as much enjoyment in using fabric, jelly rolls and charm packs in a quilt as there is in looking at and stroking the fabric. So, what are you waiting for? Enjoy the fabric, enjoy the creative process – and use up that fabric!
As a fellow Douglas Adams fan as well as running very quickly up to 42 myself this blog really resonated with me. For me it was 40 when we took the brave step to up sticks and move from Milton Keynes to North wales (a long time dream). It’s been tough but worth it
I’m glad you liked it! Making a life move can be very tough – I left teaching in 2011 and combined with that my dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and then died – the manner of my leaving teaching was not ideal, although I have done some supply teaching and maternity cover since then. It has all helped me to get to where I am now.
What a great philosophy for quilting and life. I’m in the process of clearing my house for sale, so I’d add one more rule – if its useful but you aren’t going to use it, pass it on now to someone who will.
Good idea! Now, if only I could hear to do it with crafting items…!
Loved your post and so true. I lost my Dad in my thirties and made the same decision in life. Live, love and find joy in the small things.
Thank you Helen – I think it really hit home for me with my mum, having seen her go from doing so much to being able to do very little, and not being able to knit, crochet, sew or make lace.
A lovely post with which I completely empathise. It also took sadness for me to appreciate that here and now is the best place to be so enjoy every moment of it. I want somehow for my children to learn this before they lose someone important in their lives.
Thank you. We care for a young person, so I hear “I can’t wait for…” lots of times, and I think that is quite sad, as it seems to be wishing your life away.
Great article and a poingnant reminder that life is for living and to enjoy those nice things while we can
Thank you!
A great read…so true, thanks for the reminder
Thank you! I’d love to say that I have decided to use up all my fabric before I buy more, but Doughty’s Roadshow last week and Craft4Crafters today tell a much different story!
Well said…I overheard someone say ‘ we don’t keep anything for best anymore’…which hit home to me. So now nothing is for best, everything is for now.
We now use our best china dinner service, which only used to come out for xmas!
How silly is that…great blog Christine.
Thank you!
Love the post Christine. Your words are so poignant. I have saved things ‘for a rainy day, special handcreams (expensive!) for some obscure day in the future! Why do we do that? I sometimes look at all the stuff I have and think, Goodness my daughter is just going to chuck all this when I have gone! Your post has brought it home to me with a bump. Going to use up my lovely smellies and if i need more I will buy them! If I have used up that lovely fabric – then yes buy more. Yes, indeed, life is short, too short. LIVE IT!!!!!!!!
Absolutely Sue! I’ve saved those lovely, special, expensive hand creams and body lotions previously, and now I’m on a mission to use it up! I’m just having a problem not buying more supplies…