Day 29: Star Stitch, with perle thread.

Diary Entry: Cleaning day, but not productive or balanced. The morning was great. Sorted out my sewing corner, my project bag, my embroidery work space and my embroidery box.

But when it came to cleaning the rest of the house I had nothing but interruptions. I still had stuff left on the landing from Deanna sorting her room out on Thursday. Needed it clear, she got mad because I asked her to take it down stairs. She can be hard work and I was not her sounding off board so she was in a mood with me all afternoon until she had to go to work.

In the process of cleaning room to room, had people using the drop offs and one person dropped off but they then got wrong house, hubby then tried to find the fabric down the street they left it on, but could not see it. One of the sewing group knew the street, went down it and found the fabric, so all was well. I think hubby maybe needs new glasses.

Trying to trace who the drop offs were from took some time, once sorted, then had drop offs for Aubrey to look at some overlockers, had a natter, as nice as it was. I really wished I just could of got on with the cleaning, without sounding ungrateful.

More admin. House finally done. Tea cooked. Shower had and sewing done, diary thing written.

StarStitch today, quick easy or so I thought, the thread was a thick perle, a right pain to get through the fabric. Hence only the small amount of stars. I chose stars today because I must remind myself to get that balance, to stop and look at the stars once in a while.

Tomorrow I plan on making a gown for a nurse. I hope tomorrow I get the balance right.

Day 30: Coral Stitch, perle thread.

Diary Entry: Never cut or made gown for hospital use before so this was a first for me. Got up early again, what is it with my body clock recently? I took delivery of all the scrub patterns to dish out. Would of had them sorted sooner, but then, a wall of fatigue hit and I needed to sleep. Woke up for 1, pain in chest/ribs and very out of breath. So tried to slow down. Aubrey just left me to do chores despite the fact I said I needed help. That will have to stop. I cannot hold his hand through the process of lockdown nor can I hold the hands of every group member who cannot spend ten minutes to try to find or read the group files, before asking for help. I am sorry but some days I just do not have the spoons to spoon-feed them with. Okay rant over.

My house has been like grand central station. I expected that, but what I did not expect was people wanting to come quite late on. I will need to set an earlier cut off time. Even tonight, I think my cut off time of 7 pm was pushed to the limit.

It means I cannot get that much-needed balance right. With flare up today, my body is showing it is at limits, or at the very least giving very clear warning signs. I cannot afford to end up with weeks in bed, not now, not ever. So body, if you are reading this. I am listening to you.

Even now while in the bath with my tablet and writing this at 20:58, those messages are still coming. I am normally a night owl and the time of night people message me is never an issue. But it is becoming one now, which I am finding strangely fascinating. I am getting annoyed at myself for being annoyed with people sending messages late at night. However, I can’t really complain because I used to do that myself. Well to be honest it is the chill time I hate them sending messages in, 7pm -11pm. The time I do not want my phone to ping. Have no choice if I am using it for games or writing this. I never noticed how intrusive social media could be and I am an avid fan normally.

My stitch today, is Coral stitch, I am so drawn to knots. It is a calming stitch. Takes control and helps me focus. Knots I think have become my balance stitch. Need to keep the balance.

Day 31: Herringbone Stitch, two-strand thread.

Diary Entry: No sewing and dominated by sorting out all the delivery’s of the past few weeks. It took a whole day. On the plus side dropped off a delivery at the A&E, which meant more items going where needed. I have been out the house today, needed it, stir-crazy and stressed. Lock down and shielding is not doing my mental health any good.

The stitch I chose today is a stitch I dislike because I struggle with it. Herringbone Stitch, it worked better than I expected, maybe because I took my time.

Watched the Sewing Bee, with all technical turned off for an hour, and I must have needed that break, as I felt better.

Day 32: NONE

Diary Entry: Too wiped. No energy.

Day 33: Wheatear Stitch, perle cream thread.

Diary Entry: Today is Friday, and the first day all week I have managed to sew on my machines, I got up determined to get to my machines. I cut out my fabric. Had a tea break video call with the ladies, then set the lovelies up, meaning my machines. Got some done and had lunch, broke up the work with getting up and moving around and checking for messages and admin on the computer. Seemed to be more of a balance today.. The living room was getting me frustrated because of lack of space and mess. When you need three machines out, space is necessary. So I decide that I would get the tent out and make that my sewing room.. So while still light and I had some energy (spoons), we collected it from the garage and then put it up. Hubby helped with poles and the first four anchor points, then proceed to stand gormless as I did the rest of the work, despite me asking for help. I also dropped a mallet on my foot, which incidentally now hurts. Sometimes he’s a wet lettuce. Tent was now up, it was late and getting chilly and I finished off sewing the gown, in the already messy living room.

Aubrey did cook tea for us. I was grateful for that as it took me to nearly eight to get the last bits done.

Showered, then to write this. The stitch today is Wheatear Stitch; it reminds me of a row of rabbits. While camping with the wildlife, they tried to get into the tent. Walking up and seeing them across the field. Fond memories.

Pain and fatigue has not been too bad today, I think because I found that balance.

The Face time over messenger with step-dad, I think it made his night. So worth it. Missed having that laugh. Been messaging but not the same. He’s normally asleep when I sit down. So tonight was a bonus.

Wiped out and very tired. But, a healthy balanced tired. Not a stressed wanting to top myself tired like I have been some nights this week.

Day 34: Crow’s Foot, yellow perle thread.

Diary Entry: It has just dawned on me, I have never been so productive with my sewing, both with my hand and machine at the same time. Today started off being cold and damp, everywhere hurt, I just wanted to snuggle up. However, I set up the sewing equipment in tent and figured I would just brave it and get on with it. The sun came out. People collected their deliveries and I was a happy busy bee sewing trousers. The admin role is better, as we have a system now. Which in practice, this means that I can walk away.

Pizza and then good soak in the bath has left me feeling relaxed. Although Kira did come in and have a few tears. She is not coping. I need to find away to connect with her. So I have suggested some painting tomorrow.

If she does not want to engage, I have three weeks of textiles challenges I need to get caught up on. So tent and sewing, by hand, the machines will be banished.

Today’s stitch was Crow’s Foot. The one on the left was done with taking up of fabric the one on the right was done with me going all the way through the fabric. The one on the left is better. I had been wanting to try this stitch all week but not had the concentration for it. Only the colour is representative of today’s mood. The sun for warmth.

Day 35: Bullion Knot, blue thread, thick cotton. (Not 100% sure of the name of thread)

Diary Entry: Finally, balance was achieved today. I looked at the clock this morning and the time read 10:45 am, I had managed to sleep until that time. It was a relief and my body must have needed it. I placed a closed sign outside my house, which read, scrub hub closed. I spent most of the day in a tent sewing my eye, or just sitting in the warmth, breathing the warmth safe in the knowledge that I could just relax.

Aubrey cooked tea, granted it was later, but I did not mind. I went for a small walk, as I needed to exercise. It helped my headspace, fibromyalgia and my Crohn’s. It is okay this shielding business but I cannot do exercises at home, any form of impact is painful. A gentle walk eases everything off. I do wonder how much this shielding will affect the physical health of those, who would otherwise walk miles etc.

Wrote letters to my steampunk bloggers today, only two weeks behind. A productive day again, with matters of the heart and mind and not a matter of duty.

Stitch of the day is my trusty Bullion Knot. I added it to my rose, letting it grow some more. I also worked on running stitch within my eye work.

Feeling a sense of pride over my eye and no longer stressing that it is taking longer then expected. Looking forward to couching, was considering doing both projects simultaneously but changed my mind. Give my all to one, then work on the other with the same passion.

I hope sleep will come tonight early as I am wiped out.